I fired my therapist
I saw a life coach for a bit. He was an actor who had dealt with his own gambling, sex, drug, and alcohol addictions. Most of my friends thought I was nuts to see someone who had been through so much shit, but my friend Norm, who has been through a lot of shit, was like, "that's who you want when the shit hits the fan... someone who has been lower than you."
I came to this life coach because I had been seen a regular therapist for my anxiety and for grief counseling. The therapy went well, but after a few months, probably because the insurance company said so, my therapist was like, "you've made progress, you are good, we are done here." I was like, "but I'm not writing, I haven't written in like a year." My therapist sighed and said that writer's block wasn't really something they dealt with or could treat, and I was like, "but I am a writer and whatever the fuck is going on in my head, it's a real-ass problem because I cannot work." We argued about whether or not writer's block is real, and at one point I gave her an example of a truck driver who couldn't get behind the wheel because of his feelings, and even though she said she would have to agree with me that my hypothetical trucker would need more therapy, so told me we were done. Again, I think that was the insurance company talking.
Anyway, I found the life coach through a friend of a friend. I paid him cash. We met in his office, which he rented from a shady criminal defense lawyer. I told him all the fears that were fucking me up. He encouraged me to journal about them, then bring in my journal so we could go over it together. It took about five weeks, but we pinpointed the problem. Then we spent another three weeks working on getting into a "joyful habit" that would get me writing again. Turns out that shit worked!
Stick with your witch, Alex! And thank you for writing this wonderful essay. I loved it!
I recently did an online workshop where we were paired off in groups and a stranger watched me scream into a pillow for a long time. It was weird and also very cathartic. I'll probably never see her again. Thank you Beth for holding that space.
Alex this was a delight to read. I can relate so much. Although I read my cards from Francie RELIGIOUSLY!!! I laughed a lot and feel this sums up her work so eloquently. Also - I totally had family therapy when I was a kid and it was a strange strange time. It was group family therapy and all of the families there were extremely fucked up. The things I heard about in therapy disturbed me greatly as as 12 year old.
Lastly, fuck that bitch Anh.
It’s great to change things up. I had same issue pulling things to talk about with my therapist, until mutual agreement that my goals were met. I could use some AHS Coven witches here haha.
(Side note: how you liking wheel of time?/season 2?)
It's good to have a witch.
I ate a bunch of mushroom chocolate (first time) to have a spiritual experience. Turns out it was actually DMT. So, in my friend’s estranged brother’s toilet, I came face to face with god. I also puked all over myself and my wife had to take me home. 7/10. Would do again.
I want to get cards from Francie, how does that work??
You're incredibly talented on a sentence by sentence level. Your rhythm is absurd. I really admire it. Just subscribed, and looking to read more. Thx!
I just went to see a guy in Crown Heights called the “Loving Shaman” who did reiki massage on me. He blew at me, hovered over me, and moved out “ghosts and demons” while massaging me with Ayervedic oil. I really felt like I was on a different astral plane afterwards and it helped me release a lot of my tensions and past trauma. He then taught me some Puerto Rican voodoo magic to let go of the past. Highly recommend trying out reiki and craniosacral therapy!