23 Comments
Jan 25Liked by Alex Kruger

I wish I had your courage to go on stage. Glad Ben was there for you. The way you describe characters (Taylor swift whore & cat server) made me laugh out loud, at work.

1) I bet you can write an entire essay on the process of recording the perfect laugh track. The audio aspect of your work is fantastic addition. 2) Drunk at best friend’s wedding playing Canon in D Minor. Kept hitting keys while they walked down & was part of bridal party. 3) Maybe give sneak peek content as rewards for referrals?

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Oh interesting. I would never think that anyone would care about number 3 haha

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that went pretty well. But then you had the audience of David Sedaris?!? DOes 5k really make a difference? Not that different from 2,5? I know very little about substack. Anyway, enjoyed your open mic performance

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It does. I’m not in charge ya know

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Well, maybe your local daycare facility will host an open mic night (more likely “open mic morning” - these kids do nap, you know).

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Haven’t met him, yet, of course, but I like Ben even more, now, after your Open Mic gig!

ps…I despise laugh tracks. Maybe the current AI can make them sound authentic.

psss luv u

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Yeah I'm going to start trying to record this week :D

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Well, not exactly a stage per se, but in high school in the very early 80's, we were forced to take swimming as part of our gym requirements. The girls were issued faded red non-stretchy one-piece suits that had a modesty panel across the crotch, which would billow and fill with water in a very strange bloated way in the water. We were then forced to spend the rest of the school day with the stink of chlorine on our skin and hopeless hair.

One day I had a fantastic idea. Instead of trudging down the steep steps to the pool and quietly lining up for attendance in the humid chlorine soaked air, what if we blasted down the steps, flew through the door and hurled ourselves straight into the pool without stopping? I was intensely bored with high school, so this seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do at the time. My friend agreed. We laughed as we waited at the top of the stairs, giving everyone enough time to line up, then down the stairs we went!

It was exhilarating. I pushed the door open in a blind flurry and threw my body straight into the pool, laughing out loud as I sunk to the bottom.

I pushed off with my feet and surfaced. The entire class was standing in line, staring with their mouths agape. My friend had abandoned me and stopped short at the door, leaving me to jump alone. She stood at the end of the line, head lowered with her hands bunched at her side.

The experience was humiliating. The teacher quietly growled at me to get dressed, informing me I'd receive a zero for the day. Class resumed and everyone quietly filed over to the other end of the pool, leaving me to heave myself out and head back up the stairs to shower and change. That might've been the first time I realized my sense of humor wasn't like the others.

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I support you. Your friend sucks. Haha

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But would you have jumped with me?

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Obviously ❤️

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I feel you 😟 I got the actual HOOK 🪝 to yank me offstage. This was a retreat of semi famous world-changers. I sang improv. Had sung beautifully earlier in the retreat, but was offered a toke of weed half hour before 😂 Only good news, the MC gave me a huge smoochy kiss as she dragged me offstage. 💋 my inner Monkeys tormented me, repeating this epic fail for weeks!

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Getting dragged offstage singing sounds horrible hahahah

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Jan 22Liked by Alex Kruger

Hahaha I LOVE this, Alex!! I literally cracked up out loud. Thank you for sharing!! Also -- the audio doesn't seem to be working for me (am I the only one?) -- is there anywhere else I can listen to your intro for David Sedaris?

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Okay so. I think it's just you haha. Cuz I can hear it and so can other people I think? Maybe try downloading the Substack app and see if that helps? If anyone else has a problem hearing the audio, please tell me :D

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The first time I ever performed at a slam poetry event, I wrote a confessional love poem for the soon-to-be-stripper I was sort-of/not-really dating and at the 5 minute mark they played me off stage with a very loud piano outro. *I didn't even know there was a time limit.*

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How fun is it to think that maybe you were the first person they ever had to do that to

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I shudder for the idiot child I used to be.

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Jan 16Liked by Alex Kruger

Just realized I never subscribed to your newsletter. This was great- I appreciate the organic laughter happening. I’m actually curious what the ai laugh track would sound like. What’s the worst that could happen? Side note: really impressed with your story telling ability even though you’re reading. I don’t think I ever enjoyed comedy being read before. For me it’s sort of like a pastor who reads his sermons- it never hits the same. But this- this I love. Whatever you decide I’ll be reading.

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Thanks Marc. Appreciate it. Yeah — let's see what a laughtrack does. I'm optimistic.

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I enjoyed reading all your pieces. I especially liked the ayahuasca story.

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Aw. Thanks Maria :D

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First time here, great stuff-- replying here because when you say 'AI Laugh Track' are you saying the AI decides where all the laughs are? Because if so, you should have three versions 1) the AI does it 2) YOU do it, inserting what kind of laughs and where, and then 3) the first live performance where the two theories are tested in the arena. Dumb idea but safe to say, you'd be the first!

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